This conversation is older than 2 months and has been closed to new posts. The thing is i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, and I have sinned with him by having sex, the right thing to do would be to marry him eventually, and we love each other very much so would be more than willing to do that in the near future, but for now we're too young. Additionally some religions (mostly Asian or New Age'y one's) can be practised without a belief in or worship of God or Gods (…) and (…).Though I am Theistic and believe there is or at least was a God at some point, and fairly conservative - I also don't believe that you should lie or go against your own personal beliefs or disbeliefs as these would tend to hinder an honest, open, longterm relationship. Known as "the walking Qur'an," read his life to truly understand what Islam is and is not. Islam is the future. I’ve lived a life of sin. I plan to read some literature and figure it out. It is like a good form of Karate I think, or learning a musical instrument. I don't go to services and I only do Shabbat here and there. why not say "He's Jewish and I'm not and wouldn't you know it, we love each other?" “Islam for Dummies” was open on his screen. Sadly, one problem that my friend had for a long time was that once people found out she wasn't born Jewish, they always viewed her as "the convert". And hope you're OK with the kids being automatically assigned to a religion. This is a multicultural world, and if you have kids they will be multicultural kids. The Reconstructionist movement, allowing girls to be bat mitzvah'd, allowing women to be rabbis and ordaining women as rabbis are just a few of the changes that have occurred in Judaism in the last hundred years. Did I unconsciously appropriate? No one said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it. BTW, a true kosher Jewish conversion is difficult and involves quite a bit of study. Facebook. Best wishes. I want to make sure that I can bring just as much as he can to the relationship. You can't really change who you are, not like that.As I said, all that is evaporating. Judaism is a cool and interesting religion. It's odd that I am considered Jewish, but my cousin whose father is Jewish, is not. You didn't say if not being Jewish is a dealbreaker for him. My problem is that in Islam a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man – any marriage which takes place is invalid. 4. Depends on his mindset. We had an agreement that we would never let each others family influence our decisions when it comes to raising our kids and have stuck to it all these years. Even if you associate with Jews, and come to share their quirks, mannerisms, habits, food preferences, sense of justice, and all that, you have taken a different path to get there so it is not really Jewish. We're thinking to get married but I dont know how to ask my boyfriend to convert to Islam. is my 2 cents. Dear Sister, Walaykumsalaam, Reading your post makes me feel very sad. Just don't ever complain about how you had to convert for him later on. You do not have the same personal or family history. I would wait until I have graduated and have a steady job. "Seriously, though, I never understood converting for a person. He shouldn't expect her to convert just *for him*. To Jennifer P.:It's not a dealbreaker, but it is something that he would like. My boyfriend wants to convert to Islam, should I stay or leave? You can't achieve the racial characteristics. 2. ©2020 Verizon Media. More in Converting to Islam. In Conservative and Orthodox Communities it would be frowned upon if you didn't convert before marriage. I have no religion so I am willing to consider it. This seems like an easy one to me. I can say that I have definitely enjoyed the traditions and the foods quite a bit! Reform Judaism does not always follow Jewish law.. So there's really no urgency. My wife is Catholic and I didn't switch. Traditionally speaking in Judaism conversions are actually discouraged. Anyone considering Islam should be ready to uphold both of these important commitments and to maintain balance between them. It's awesome that he's not pressuring you to convert, shows that he's an independent thinker. For Adam, fasting (especially last Ramadan with its 17-hour fasts) and praying five times a day on time were major adjustments. So, from Adam to Zoroaster, it is important to study the various faiths. Be ready for whatever comes -- good and bad. I wish you the best and hope you figure out what it is you want to do! As a practicing Muslim who's made the conscious choice to follow Islam, I figured I'd been down a road Adam was looking to begin traveling. Who is Getty Lee? Reform does not always follow Jewish law... Good luck, Donna. Because of intermarriage, travel, communication, and a more enlightened if murderous era for humanity overall, the walls are coming down everywhere between races, religions, nations, and cultures. Yes I made it clear. In Islam the man is allowed to marry outside his religion. And second, Islam has created a system to truly unite humanity as it teaches its adherents to accept all these prophets of God. Why can't you just raise your kids Jewish anyway? There is something very deep and quietly alluring about it, but not easy or flashy, and at times it can be antiquated and dysfunctional. I'm Kohein). I have received a promise ring and once all the stuff with the family gets smoothed out, we plan to get engaged. According to Pew Research, "Two-thirds (67 percent) of all converts to Islam in the U.S. came from Protestant churches, 10 percent came from Catholicism, and just five percent from other religions. I’ve had some of my best nights out with him and his friends (some of them also don’t drink) because they’re just quite naturally party people. ----------------------In order to be considered "Jewish", the mother has to be Jewish. The Qur'an is not a terribly long book and if you don't have a copy, here's a free e-copy in English. If not I would seriously recommend it before you become anymore serious because you can really learn a lot about yourself and your relationship by living with your partner. That is definitely something I will look into because I have been under the impression that it is a must for the children to really be considered Jewish. Prophet Muhammad, whom the Qur'an calls the Seal of the Prophets, is Islam's holy founder. (continued)If you are not born into it, and do not grow up with it, how could you possibly achieve the cultural norms? My mom went through conversion class for the hell of it, partly because she wanted to make peace with my dad's parents. This doesn't happen so much in the reform or humanistic movement.Good luck! Twitter. It may be true that some hoity toity hebrew schools won't accept your kids but they probably won't be very progressive either- is that what you want?So what if your kids aren't Jewish according to Jewish law? I had that much faith in Islam. Before accepting Islam, make sure to avoid heartache and regret, and don't commit until you feel that satisfying contentment of mind and soul. And I am totally a shikzah Sara haha. Few people have it all. Whoopsie. I had a few Jewish roommates before. Why would you want your children to become fully immersed in a religion that you yourself don't believe in? We did both this year and last year. To Marie K.:Well, like I said we aren't in any rush. It's not about you and him, but the environment in which you will seek to maintain your relationship. My guy is not religious but he does enjoy Christmas. As such, the religion of Islam teachesthat in order to achieve true peace of mind and surety of heart, one mustsubmit to God and live according to His Divinely revealed Law.Islam is not a new religion because ‘submissionto the will of God’, i.e. Of course, there is the possibility that I may end up finding Judaism to be very compelling, but the chances are pretty low. And finally, this has to be a yes. Im not particularly religious at all so does it matter? We ended up breaking it off shortly after my conversion to Islam, it was one of the toughest things I ever did. He would be fine if I decided that I did not convert. Every Muslim has two fundamental and equally important obligations -- faith and works -- both repeatedly mentioned in the Qur'an. You shouldn't have to convert. Take the time to make a decision best for your personal relationship with Him. I tried to point out some mistakes in the Quran and he got angry at me. Day by day I hated not being able to learn about Islam at home. again, she was reform...when i asked why... roomie told me that in order for the children to be considered jewish that the mother's ovum was what determined what the child would be born...and NOT the father's sperm. You must go through training, learn Hebrew and Torah. My view is that if you love this man and religion is not an important part (or any part) of your life, what is the harm in becoming jewish if it is important to him? Or if you decided against it, why and how did that turn out?The discussion is not strictly limited to Judaism. But we haven't really gotten as far as what we would do if I said no, I think I will bounce that off him later tonight. If you don't believe in Judaism and/or have no desire to convert, don't. You must go to the mikvah (the ritual bath), you must have a sponsor of sorts. If your future in-laws and their family care so much about it, do not marry this man unless you are HAPPY to convert, will truly believe in it and do all the bull that goes along with that, and will send your kids to Hebrew school, etc. I think what it comes down to is respecting each others' beliefs. Personal choice. Islam teaches that religion is God's Word and science is God's Works. How sincere is that faith if it was only adopted to please another, or to affect a change in the heart of another? I happen to carry the genes for TaySachs and Canavan (deadly birth defects found more commonly in Jewish populations) and my gentile husband doesn't. Reform and Independent temples accept everyone into their temple and interfaith marriages are really common. If he is a bit liberal then you may continue. Shabbat shalom Amanda.....Have a good one. Nonetheless, one’s decision to convert can be made with greater confidence and ease if grounded in a sound understanding of the religion. I accept this for my fiance and signed it. I'm Jewish (more culturally identified like your BF) and married to a non-Jewish guy. That way you can teach your kids that there are several ways to live, not just one faked way. IF you are really doing Shabbat every Friday night, there is a little more going on than just the "cultural aspect". Author, Human Rights Lawyer, Visiting Fellow, Harvard University’s Prince Alwaleed bin Talal School of Islamic Studies, Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. I personally would never convert just for him or his parents. Judaism, like every other religion, needs to change with the times in order to remain relevant. It was pretty cool.We are from LA where you can be culturally jewish and feel part of the jewish community without actually participating in the religion or belonging to a temple, due to many jewish restaurants (delis) the holidays being acknowledged in most businesses and corporations etc, yiddish being part of the common, everyday LA vernacular, stores decorate for both Hanukah and Xmas, and a large jewish population. A Muslim is responsible to live a lifestyle upholding both obligations. Adam's call caught me off guard. I WILL CHOOSE ANOTHER PATH.I WILL CHOOSE FREE WILL. God's Word and God's Works should not ever conflict. Tsada K. says:The only man I would convert for is Bill Maher.------------What would you be converting from? YOU CAN CHOOSE FROM PHANTOM FEARS AND KINDNESS THAT CAN KILL. Today is National Voter Registration Day! But, according to Jewish tradition and law, the family line is passed down through the mother, which is why it's technically important for you to be Jewish if that's what you want your kids to be too, at least in the eyes of Jewish law. “Islam for Dummies” was open on his screen. It's not like that at all. Make sure it is the right decision for you first as you are making a promise the relationship apparently needs to work out. Talk to your fiance, see how important it is to him, because conversion is a long process. 4 minutes ago Tom "Some people call me the Space Cowboy" R. says:Tsada K. says:The only man I would convert for is Bill Maher.Wait...what?=======================Isn't he an atheist?--------------------Sort of...he's agnostic--hence the "wait...what? Lucky for me, the answer is simply no. let's be lesbians! I believe in God but I don’t believe in different religious groups however I am willing to look in to Islam just for my boyfriend but I don’t find the motivation in my boyfriend’s character or behaviours towards me or other human beings. No incongruity canst thou see in the creation of the Gracious God. My boyfriend is Christian and 100% sure he does not want to convert. You must be asking, what does studying other faiths have to do with Islam? Islam teaches that ultimately our salvation rests in God's hands. It's based on a story in Yiddish by Shalom Alechem, so it's very authentic. I had a similar talk with my boyfriend and his religion, he's muslim.. but more culturally than anything. Historically I've been more attracted to non-Jewish guys (usually the Jewish guys felt too much like family, though not in every case). Then leave. Islam has certain regulations about several aspects of our … Will you be prepared to observe veil (hijab)? My advice is simple:  Don't convert, you will regret it. 2x.We are all from the same tribe (actually, there were originally 12, now its all the same. I believe the religion is matrilineal so you would have to convert if you wanted your children to be Jewish. Personally, I think that it is hypocritical, not so much of the person converting, but of the family who asks that person to do so in the form of an ultimatum. (Facial feminization surgery can help with this.) Reform Judaism is not the same as traditional Judaism, and if you're talking Hebrew school and getting your kids into the fantastic Jewish programs available in this city, you, the mother, has to be Jewish. When a person is convinced that Islam is the true religion of God they should not delay their conversion. ;), mine just wears his to hide his bald head ;p, :P Who knew that that would be one of the added perks of a yamaka? Getty Lee is the Bassist/Vocalist for the band Rush. Islam is in fact a way of life. Converting to Judaism isn't necessarily easy, so you should really learn about the process first. And there is no requirement for you to share with him that you don't believe any of it. Shouldn't one only convert to a belief because they are moved to do so by a belief, and not a person? To know Prophet Muhammad is to know Islam. So they should hearken to Me and believe in Me, that they may follow the right way.'". Cultures great and small are disappearing fast all over the world, or else adapting and evolving, like so many species in a changed habitat. There are fewer and fewer people in the world who are 100% Jewish. I guess in this sort of case (kids) its that you agree to raise them following certain traditions. I did do Ramadan with him which was really hard but gave me a better insight into the religion. ?roomie:  *mouth agape*                 *blinks* me:  *double stranded helices dance in head*           *considers discussing statistical model for heritability*         *remembers illogical nature of religion in general and keeps mouth shut*to this day, i have yet to hear an answer...and i'm pretty sure mendel was turning over in his grave when that conversation took placeif someone knows, please tell me....after 15 years, and many jewish friends later,  no one seems to know...roomie eventually became conservative orthodox in an attempt to compensate for her very faulty great, great, great grandmother's ova~then i knew a shiksa who converted, too...her story is a sad one, i the only person who sees irony that some in the jewish faith are proponents of essentially what hitler touted???? Judaism has thrived under poverty and oppression for millennia - as a culture it does not hold together well in conditions of wealth or freedom. And that doesn't even account for the millions spent to promote Islamophobia to deter people from studying Islam in the first place. Personally, I'm probably gonna end up marrying a non Jew and then let my kids decide once they are older. The only man I would convert for is Bill Maher.Wait...what? For this reason, Islam is the … She made the decision to convert. Are you aware of the role of a Muslim wife? I belong to the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, which is unique for two reasons. If you are never going to marry him, leave him. Everyone has given me a really good platform to bounce off of. While this is certainly not a "prerequisite" to accepting Islam, it will empower you with priceless practical and spiritual knowledge of Islam, and that is never a bad thing. If we were more serious I would consider looking into the religion because for me it's about caring about the person and I am "up in the air" when it comes to religions. That is definitely something I will look into because I have been under the impression that it is a must for the children to really be considered Jewish. This conversation is monumentally stupid.And if someone calls you Getty Lee it might not be a compliment. It would definitely be some time. I have a friend who is always asking me to go to church with him, even though he knows I'm agnostic. One even divorced her husband because she became very observant and he was not. Good luck, Donna. this sent roomie into a tizzy, as she heavily identified with the traditions of the reform religion. How sincere is that faith if it was only adopted to please another, or to affect a change in the heart of another? I do consider myself agnostic and open to all religions. Nearly one-in-seven converts to Islam (15 percent) had no religion before their conversion.". However, I did it for the sake of Allah (swt). If you're part of a reform synagogue, mom doesn't have to be jewish for the kids to be. roomie felt she had to convert because "some" families wouldn't allow her to marry "in" as she called it. This is another reason it is important to visit different communities before choosing the one right for you. Tell him that you are willing to allow the children to be raised with jewish cultural values but you aren't going to convert. jewish is not a race. Remove one and you end up in circles without accomplishing much. To my surprise, I soon saw I would never have to present him anything. We celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas. If the atheists and agnostics don't put their foot down against the hypocrisy of religion, we are just perpetuating the bullshit of all the rules and regulations of organized religion. Tsada K. says:Personally, I think that it is hypocritical, not so much of the person converting, but of the family who asks that person to do so in the form of an ultimatum. I say cherry pick what you like and do what makes you comfortable. People have asked if it’s weird when we go out, and no, not it’s not. Lol. Before accepting Islam, make sure you study as many different faiths as you can. You can also find about 70 different Qur'an translations for free here too. I never really understood this. He used to be Catholic, but isn't into it or any organized religion for that matter. Ultimately, though, God is your final witness. I'm not into perfunctory behavior to make things superficially ok. If you really want to marry him I agree that an inter-faith ceremony. It can be any religion. Can you see where this is heading? It was on this premise that Muslims made unprecedented advances in science, biology, chemistry, astronomy, and physics during Islam's Golden Age. In what language are sermons delivered? In a word, everything. wendella a. says:Who is Getty Lee? I answer the prayer of the supplicant when he prays to Me. Reform synagogues have more and more interfaith families. Maintain both and your journey as a Muslim will take you far. Converted to Islam from Hinduism, but girlfriend’s parents don’t accept me; About to convert to Islam, but lost my Muslim boyfriend; I am guilty of adultery but my husband doesn’t know; My wife has committed Zina during Iddah but wants me back No, I disagree. We all wish the worldwide Ummah (Muslim community) were united. I've never conferted for a partner, but I did go through the motions to please my parents. {Fred Jausenge} It is good to follow your parents’ advice but not when it is based on false information. God declares in the Qur'an 2:187, "And when My servants ask thee about Me, say: 'I am near. But as you can see, there is much to consider. just be who you are, love each other, raise your kids with love and honesty...good luck. My girlfriend wants me to convert to Islam Dear Counselor, I am in love with a very woman who has all the qualities I have always dreamt of and I always feel that I hit a … On the other hand though, following Islam plays a more prominent role for my boyfriend… However, to marry I'm assuming it's a different story. Remember, it really comes down to how comfortable you are with it.-----The Dude: Man, you're f*ing Polish Catholic...Walter Sobchak: What the f* are you talking about? Converting to Islam for my boyfriend. Do you have to convert to get married? Should i do this? Note that it's a lot harder to be "passable" when hiding your lady bits. He will be happy for you to convert! If you wish to convert at a Masjid then my advice would be contact the Masjid. Would he have married her had she not agreed to convert-probably not. They're not all in English. don't start your life together on a lie. So far we've outlasted both our parent's marriages, as well as all of our sibling's marriages, and are still very much in love. But see, I have issues with going through the motions of converting when I actually do not believe in any of it. Therefore, the Qur'an repeatedly commands Muslims to investigate, ponder, reflect, question. My own grandfather spent 15 years studying before committing himself to Islam. At the same time, one should recognize that people can be a means of doing just that. What it’s like to convert to Islam for the man you love. But, act and keep an open mind. I had a really serious boyfriend for whom I considered converting to Judaism. Every Muslim knows several, if not dozens, who chose to convert to Islam as a young adult or even later in life. But that's the choice I've made after my research. I am part of a family full of Jewish converts from totally orthodox to very reform. As an atheist I'd convert to save my life, or anyone elses for that matter, but I wouldn't just because someone wanted me to. It's not fair to you, to them, or to anyone you bring into this world, to bring them into a family that will only truly love them if they are Jewish. I was christened as a baby, my grandma still has the puffy white gown that I wore, and we go to church on Christmas morning, but like many girls in their 20s, I wouldn’t say that religion plays a significant part in my day to day life. For me, I had to sign a contract with the Catholic Church stating that we will raise our kids catholic (which I don't have a problem with how ever I do not agree with all the catholic teachings). It is not required to have Muslim witnesses to your conversion, but many prefer to have such support. Some Native American tribes perhaps.In most of the world the Jewish identity is dissipating, particularly between generations as most Jews outside of Israel marry non-Jews. I believe there is something and I still have to find a religion that suits me. I had a really serious boyfriend for whom I considered converting to Judaism.
2020 should i convert to islam for my boyfriend